The block I didn't see coming

When I started writing I was so naive and free and happy. I had no followers, no expectations, I just wrote for the sake of it.
Sometimes I miss that feeling, but now it looks like I can't help but constantly thinking "what will my readers think of this one? Maybe I shouldn't write it" and that really sent me into a spiral of negative thoughts. 

I used to see posts about writer blocks and I used to think that I'd be prepared for it; I knew it would come and I'd welcome it knowing it would pass. What a big pile of bullshit XD Here it is, the block, in all its glory, telling me I won't be able to write a single word again and it suuuuucks.

I know the theory, that it will go way, but damn, right now I look around myself and feel like there's no more space for me, I double-doubt every plot that comes to my mind, every word I try to write... I... it's hard. And I'd want to rant but all the new people in fandom are like I was at the beginning, so happy and carefree and I don't want to... I don't know, be the old lady who vents and brings everyone down? 

Oh boy. I feel weird in fandom right now... just leaving this here, hoping the more I'll talk about this the faster it will go away....❤️