The block I didn't see coming

[marchnogirl]

When I started writing I was so naive and free and happy. I had no followers, no expectations, I just wrote for the sake of it.
Sometimes I miss that feeling, but now it looks like I can't help but constantly thinking "what will my readers think of this one? Maybe I shouldn't write it" and that really sent me into a spiral of negative thoughts. 

I used to see posts about writer blocks and I used to think that I'd be prepared for it; I knew it would come and I'd welcome it knowing it would pass. What a big pile of bullshit XD Here it is, the block, in all its glory, telling me I won't be able to write a single word again and it suuuuucks.

I know the theory, that it will go way, but damn, right now I look around myself and feel like there's no more space for me, I double-doubt every plot that comes to my mind, every word I try to write... I... it's hard. And I'd want to rant but all the new people in fandom are like I was at the beginning, so happy and carefree and I don't want to... I don't know, be the old lady who vents and brings everyone down? 

Oh boy. I feel weird in fandom right now... just leaving this here, hoping the more I'll talk about this the faster it will go away....❤️

Comments

[digthewriter]

Sometimes the best thing a person can do it get out of their own head space. I remember feeling really down in the dumps in fandom (like a year maybe 1.5 years ago?) it had nothing to do with anything in particular but really just my head space was not good and it wasn't really a writer's block - so not similar to you - but it was a lack of motivation, feeling depressed, and just really like not feeling good, at all. And I watched like 3 seasons on Brooklyn 99 in a weekend.

It was the best thing I could do for myself. I stayed on my sofa, didn't turn on the computer, and just like legit binge watched a show I had no clue what it was about.

Everyone gets in their own way, for sure, when it comes to things like this (and not things that we can blame on white supremacy, however, 45 becoming president was a big downer for me for months and months and I couldn't write to save my life - that we can blame on white supremacy... lol i am going off topic.)

But, I wish you well, and think of ways where you're not doing any writing, not even thinking about it, so when you're back on that laptop or phone, you're ready to tackle.

It might also help to turn off fandom social media. B/c w/out your own knowledge, it adds on the stress and burden of lack of motivation.

Take care,
DIG.

[marchnogirl]

Thank you so much for your words, dig. You're right, sometimes our head simply needs the break. I'm still in the depths of the block, but I'm trying to think it doesn't mean I won't write anymore in my life!